Just Roll With It

Tonight I spent an hour trying to convince a doctor that the man that occupied my pop's body was not operating on all 6 cylinders.  He did his best to ease my anxiety by telling me that most people my fathers age after having surgery, and being on pain killers exhibit a certain amount of delusion.

I said; Is that right.  Doc, his surgery was 6 days ago, he is not on any pain meds and I'm not talking about what day is it, or is it day light or dark.  I'm talking about the fact that the man is having a one sided conversation with a pile of blankets in a chair across the room thinking that it's my mom and he's pissed because she won't answer him.

Actually Dr., I'm a little confused myself as to why my number is listed as an emergency contact yet no one called to tell me he was found in the floor of his room at 11 am this morning and it is estimated he was "only there about 30 minutes".   What constitutes an emergency?  Do you think I'm not going to notice that his arm is completely black and blue from the fall and his lip is a bit bloody from where he bit it.

Thank you for doing a CT scan right away to determine there was not an injury as a result of the fall, it's the most proactive measure I've heard taken thus far.  I say this because it's 6pm at this point, and I'm still waiting on a return call from you where I left a message at 9am today asking that you get in touch with me regarding his upcoming procedure, among other things.

After finishing my conversation with the doctor that left me completely underwhelmed with his knowledge of my dad's chart, I go sit with Pop.  That is when we have the funniest conversation.  His "confusion" is not like I said, confusing, it's more like he is in a different time.

I never thought I'd ever say that I was thankful that Ray's grandmother had Alzheimer's, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  I am thankful because The Big A taught me the best way to communicate with someone who wasn't always quite sure of things.  Things that we all take for granted knowing such as who our children are, and their names.  Did you ever have something on the "tip of your brain" but just couldn't seem to pull it out of the fog long enough to verbally express it?  Be thankful that only happens on the rare occasion.  The lessons you can take away from a situation such as that for one is don't try to convince them of the truth, meet them where their truth is.

As I sat to chat with my dad it took about 10 minutes for me to help him de-tangle the details of his whereabouts.  He was not at home, so that is why the door was on the wrong side of the room.  Mom was not there, so that is why that pile of blankets were being so rude and not replying to him when he spoke.  He was not wearing his glasses so let's give that a 2% toward the confusion level.  The other 98%, I got nuthin.   But here's the funny thing, he knew he was at the hospital, but he kept referring to different things in the room like he was at home, then he'd say, "No, that's not right, I'm at the hospital."

He really threw me for a second when he said; "It's 7pm, I need to get to sleep, I've got to get up and go to work tomorrow."

I remembered Betty for  a second, smiled and said; "No you don't Pop, you're on vacation this week."  He smiled and said, "I am? Good, that worked out didn't it."  Yes, it sure did Pop.

He then asked me if I still "did property" (sold real estate).  He didn't ask this because he was in the market to buy, it was because he is in the market to sell....his double funeral plot.

Dad: Your mom says we're gonna be cremated so we don't really need 'em.
Me:   Is that what you wanna do pop?
Dad:  I don't give a damn, I'll be dead anyway.

Me:   I don't think you're gonna have much luck selling it.
Dad: You don't think so?  It's a double, people like that sorta thing.
Me:  Yeah they do.  Maybe we could rent it
Dad:  (grinning)  We could try, but once they move in they're gonna wanna stay.

It felt good to just roll with the conversation.  My mom says he's confused.  The doctor says he's delusional.  I agree he's a little bit of both, but he fell back to a time when he was about my age.  He was mostly healthy, working full-time and still raising a little hell.

He had his wits about him enough to know you can't rent out a grave, while at the same time he struggled with why the load of laundry in the chair was ignoring him.

The room he was in wasn't his bedroom at home, and he really shouldn't be staying up so late because he had to work in the morning.  We just rolled with it.  There was no need to tell the man he'd been retired for the last 10 years.  

Tomorrow will prove to be interesting.  I hope if this confusion/delusion plans on sticking around awhile, he lands somewhere in time where he was happiest.  What more could you ask for?  As for me, I just plan to roll with it.....