In keeping with my reputation for being the Minister of Information, I recently read a book about Fung Shui. Not for any particular reason, just to see what it was all about. Talk about step on a crack and break your momma’s back! Fung Shui is not for the person that pays no attention to the details. There are loads of rules, graphs, numbers, compasses etc and so forth. Very serious business.
Anyway, once I got my fill of this special way of living in ones surroundings, I got to thinking how nice it would be to utilize one of the suggestions in the book and I went out and got myself a little Betta fish for my office.
Is he in the correct quadrant of my office? Is his home perched in the correct spot? I’m not sure. But I am certain of this, he is great!
With all the eagerness of an expectant parent, I thought long and hard about what I was going to name the little critter. I am very satisfied with my choice. Vern Yip. That’s right, the King of Fung Shui himself! What could be more fitting than to be named after a resident of the great ATL who is not only famous but quite talented as well.
Anyway……..Vern’s been living the good life in my office at work and we had the Columbus Day Holiday coming up, so I decided that I was going to take Vern home for the weekend. Not one of my better ideas.
Vern was residing in an old fashioned, round fish bowl, I felt like it would be a piece of cake when it came to travel. I’m not a complete moron mind you; I did empty the vast majority of the water from his bowl.
It seems you can never get a fishbowl empty enough, especially if you are driving with it between your legs on roads that seemed relatively smooth based upon your last recollection.
Well, every blip, bump or piece of gravel on the journey home sent the inch and a half of water in Vern’s bowl slurping and sloshing everywhere! By the time I had made it the short 10 miles home I looked like I had wet my pants and I’m pretty sure Vern was suffering from a concussion.
It turns out he was none the worse for wear. In the meanwhile, the cat has become intrigued with him. Now she divides her time between Vern and Nacho. Nacho is Abby’s cockatiel that lives in my home office. It appears that I have this need to incorporate livestock into my business surroundings…..
I went back to work today. Vern did not. He is happily swimming about in a vintage, barrel shaped glass cookie jar in the kitchen window sill.
I think I will get a new fish for the office, Vern seems so taken with the zoo that is my home.
Well I'm back to square one, what shall I name the new Betta? Any suggestions will be appreciated.
I checked into this funky sway stuff many moons ago and found it to be the most ridiculous bunch of horse hockey I've heard of outside of putting Obama and his obama-ites in our nations highest elected office! You can't tell me my concrete rooster will make me a more fulfilled person if I place it to the left of the television or to the right! Why, what would the neighbors think if I moved Lee's laz-e-boy chair to the other side of the room? It might mess up my rosy outlook on the state of our union. On the other hand, there would be a small spot of clean carpet never exposed to the elements of our family that would look brand new. Maybe that would be a good place for my concrete chicken! (Did I mention that a few of his tail feathers are broke off? At least he still has some tail to show off which is more than some people can say.)
ReplyDeleteI have pondered the Chinese fighting fish name dilema and would like to suggest a few. I personally like Wang-hung-low myself! I had such a fish when I was in college and that was his name. I was very fond of Wang and hated to see his demise when I did not take him home on 18 days of Christmas break. Poor guy! I guess he was just starving for attention! Another name that comes to mind is Lee-home-soon. I have heard that line many a time in the last 18 years. How about fish-n-chips? O-K, pretty tasteless. Now I have it!!! try this one on it for size.....Kris-go-away! That would be fun for an office fish, don't you think?
Just be careful where you place little fishy boy. We wouldn't want any funky fung swayers to get depressed over his location! Go figure!
Have a great day and say a good word for Jesus!
Don't name it after me. And don't send the book to my house!!
ReplyDeleteThings are fishy enough here as it is.