Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hairy Eyelids

There are two sides to everything.  Today, on the downside my youngest, Abby was home sick.  The upside?  I had an unscheduled off day!  Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but let's face it anytime you can stay home on a rainy day, not get dressed and drink a beer with your lunch can't be all bad!

I decided to make the most of my day at home by coloring my hair and bringing my unruly brows under control.  That statement will bring both pleasure and the taste of vomit to my great friend Trina Paulk.

Trina is always trying to get me to let her wax my brows whenever I'm over at her shop, which is a rarity these days.  You see the upside to full time employment is the ability to afford small luxuries such as lights and water and the occasional hair cut.   The downside is if you don't have the ability to pay your lights and water online they will be shut off because there is never time to go buy stamps.

Let's face it who wants to get up early on a Saturday to stand in a line at the post office that is moving backwards and yes I know they sell them at the grocery store but who can remember that once you've gone into shock over the fact two bags of groceries have just rang up to $50 and their ain't nothing to eat in there!

The haircut?  Well, I only get paid once a month and much like the way dirty laundry smells clean again once it sits for a long period of time in the bottom of the hamper, my hair starts to look good again right as I get the urge to make an appointment.  Well....at least it does if I look at it with my glasses off.

Either way, I find myself on this wet and mooshy day slopping around in my sweats and wrinkled T-Shirt perusing Facebook, working on an outline to a new story and watching Youtube video's of how to apply eye makeup that looks like zebra and leopard print.  Why? I don't know, somehow after listening to music videos the list migrated over to weird makeup videos.

Needless to say, one things leads to another and I pick up the magnifying mirror only to discover that no weird make up is necessary.  My brows are so bushy and my eyelids somehow have a fine covering of hair that is so light that you would miss it if you didn't hold the mirror close enough to see it.  How close is that?  Well, so close I have to wipe the fog off on my wrinkly T-shirt. 

Where did these fine blonde hairs come from?  I would call them white but let's face it, all white hairs on my head get covered in hair color and I'm pretty sure my chances of going blind are better than average if I start painting hair color on my lids.  Ok, that's gotta be the beer talking, why would I want to keep the hair on my eyelids much less color it!

So!  There I am plucking away and wondering if everyone else out there my age is experiencing this strange phenomenon of a fine dusting of blonde hair on the lids.  Either way it must go!  After a good 20 minutes, I have succeeded in ridding myself of all unwanted ahem, blonde either by plucking or dyeing and the end result is hair that is once again much too dark on the ends and well shaped eyebrows that do not match

I don't think anyone will notice one brow is slightly longer than the other because I don't plan to look at people face-on.  The upside?  I am now sporting hairless eyelids, soft as a baby's butt!  I would say they were smooth, but lets face it, I need to pull my hair back into a really tight pony tail to get that smooth non-droopy look.

Since they are now hair free I wonder if they will somehow spring back into place now that there is nothing there to weigh them down.......one can always hope!

© 2011  Annette Bagley-Martin

2 comments:

  1. Eyelid hair? I was better off not knowing to start looking for eyelid hair...

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  2. This sounds way too familiar. I have more hair in places I shouldn't and less in places I should. And smile lines turning to crows legs (not feet).

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