Stupid Smartphone

Just as in years past Ray and I purchased ourselves something nice in November and called it our Christmas present to ourselves.  Everyone does that right?  You know, purchase a high ticket item and call it a gift for a future occasion.  Well, we are notorious for it.

This year the Iphone was our item of choice.  I was, and have found out the hard way, am still a Crack-Berry lover.  There are certain things I wish I had known before making the choice to go "I".  Believe me it is not for everyone.  Here is what I have found out about myself because of the switch:

1.  The name Iphone is deceiving.  This is NOT a phone.  It is a handheld computer with the capability of making a phone call in four easy steps.  Now you can use the voice feature and easily make your calls that way as long as your phone understands the words that are coming out of your mouth.  Sorry Brian for all the hang-up calls, my phone thinks I am saying Brian every time I ask it to call Ray Martin. I have found that unlike when speaking to a foreigner, slower and louder actually works with the Iphone.

2.  Technology has dumbed me up.  All the phone numbers I had memorized prior to my cell phone days have dissipated like the early morning mist once the sun comes up.   I used to be the person folks called for phone numbers, not anymore!  I actually have my blackberry in my purse along with my Iphone because all of my numbers didn't transfer over in the big switcheroo and I have yet to take the time to put all those numbers in manually.  Manually....who wants to do that?  I need an app for that!

3.  Face Time.  In theory it is cool, in reality not so much.  First of all, much like a Big Foot sighting, all conditions must be just right.  All parties involved must be near a wifi hot spot and I have found that spot is in my own home.  When in my own home I don't want everyone to see that I am sitting around in my ratty clothes swilling coffee and sitting on the sofa with a mound of unfolded laundry.

4.  Words With Friends: Scrabble I love, WWF, not so much.  I like the way the wooden tiles feel in my hand and the audible groans when someone puts a great word on the board.  WWF, the waiting around for my turn is not fun, and for those of you that had a game going with me and I resigned the games (six of them I believe) I bore easily and playing one game of scrabble for a week is NOT for me.

5.  Life360 App:  I call it Stalker 101.  This is a great free app that let's you follow every move a member of your family network makes, or more accurately their phone makes as it moves about town.  I actually check it out most when my sister travels so that I can see how close she is to being back home when I am taking care of her spoiled pooches.  Look guys, mommy is on I-75, she will be here soon!   This App actually has cool features such as showing the location of hospitals, police and parks in your general location as well as registered sex offenders.  This app lets you check in with the touch of finger to let your network know you have arrived safely or God forbid it will let you alert your network that you are in need of immediate help.  Your family can then see the location of your phone as well as the closest police department and their phone number so that you can get help to them as soon as possible.  Love it!  (Chris, when are you gonna accept my request so I can stalk you....?)

6.  Lose It! App: This is an app that helps you with your weight loss/work out goals.  You can select how much weight you would like to lose and the time frame you'd like to lose it in. It then tells you how many calories per day you can consume to reach that goal.  It will also tell you based upon the type of exercise you put in, how may calories you will/have burned.   That's all well and good if you are disciplined enough to put all the details in every meal you eat and every work out you have.  I am a fly by the seat of your pants kind of gal and would benefit more from an app that just let me take a picture of the junk I am putting in my mouth and it then posted the actual number of calories I was consuming right on the chart and then told me what a fat cow I was gonna be if I kept that crap up.

All in all, I hate the Iphone but much like my droopy eyelids, I will learn to live with it.  I am sure with time we will become just like relatives that have learned to tolerate one another.