Body Glitter

Body Glitter------those two words conjure up a million images in the mind. Depending on who you are and your particular situation at this very minute will probably have a lot to do with what those images may be. Well….get your minds out of the gutter and let’s concentrate on Douglasville, GA.

I cannot pinpoint the exact time, but everything that I thought I ever knew about people, places or things went flying out the window roughly the same time I gave birth to my first child, but then again who knows. It seems ever since then, I have been constantly amazed at the daily adventures of my wonderful life!

For example, when Abby was about 5 years old she had gotten to where she liked makeup, all kinds of makeup. Makeup I didn’t even realize you could purchase unless you had some sort of connection through perhaps a Strippers/Hookers Local Union No. 7 or whatever resources they have at their disposal.

Either way, one Christmas, Abby requested that Santa bring her some makeup, and makeup he did bring! Ok, so I really got the makeup but she had gone from NOT believing in Santa to believing and she refused to listen when I told her there is no such thing as Santa. Whatever, I still like to believe that there will be funds in social security when I am ready to retire, so we each have our own little fantasy worlds don’t we?

The makeup that I purchased and so carefully placed under the tree had lots of goodies in it; lip glosses and lipsticks, eye shadows and nail polishes and lots of little pots of glitter. Glitter…….it didn’t really strike me as odd at the time because my oldest child had received little goody bags from past birthday parties that contained glitter gels and glitter wands. So you could strategically place glitter in you hair; for that festive look I guess?

Evidently Alex didn’t really “get into” the whole glitter thing because I do not remember the glitter phenomenon that was going on in our house at the time.

Now the glitter that I am talking about is not that stuff that comes in multiple colors that you find used in many childhood crafty sort of projects. No, this stuff is quite finely ground, and is what I perceive actual fairies must use in their day to day operations in Wonderland.

It all began when I went in Abby’s room to change the bed sheets and do some general tidying up. I didn’t notice it at first, but when I yanked the bottom sheet off of her bed I was surrounded by a cloud of glitter dust.

Now I know what it is like on the inside of one of those water globes that I used to collect. Talk about weird. In retrospect, I had made the comment to Ray the previous Saturday that I felt like we were living with Tinkerbelle, because every time Abby flew by me (she doesn’t really walk anywhere) I seemed to get covered with glitter. Well, it has now been confirmed!

After getting the sheets off of her bed and looking around at the fallout, there was glitter all over her floor, not a pile mind you, just a fine dusting of it. I hadn’t swept the house in three days and as I made my way around looking at everything I began to notice just how much glitter there was in the place. It's a good thing I have that HEPA filter deal on my vacuum! I couldn't decide if this is better or worse than her eyebrow escapade!

A couple of you have already heard about this, but one day after school I was sweeping up, (it is an endless job because most of our floors are wood).

As I walked past Abby's bedroom door, I saw out of the corner of my eye that she was standing on her bed reaching up to change the channel on her TV (she has an entertainment center built into the wall and the TV is placed up high, she must have misplaced the remote).

Well, she heard me coming down the hall and just as I got to her doorway, she turned around and said, “Hey, how do you like my eyebrows??!!!!!”

Dear Lord! Have you ever heard the term “Rooted to the Spot”, well I lived it. She looked just like Groucho Marx. She then proceeded to tell me how she had used a black marker to color them in. I couldn’t say anything but she was just sharp enough to realize that the look on my face was not a good one.

She said, don’t worry mommy, I used the marker that you write on the glass with, you know the dry erase marker. All I could think of was “She ain’t made of glass, I am going to have to shave her eyebrows off and scrub her face with a brillo pad.” “When are school pictures? Has the yearbook picture already been taken??!!!”

I think she realized I didn’t see what she saw in the mirror, so she proceeded to tell me, “Don’t worry it will come off, I used the wipe off marker.” Then she looked into the mirror on the wall and said to herself as much as to me, “Well….it should come off…….Let’s see if it comes off!!!!!!!!!” I said good idea, get a wet rag!

She ran and got one and proceeded to scrub her face. It came off, just like she planned. I really hate that since she will now be encouraged to try crazier things…….I hope her kids do this stuff to her, I look forward to it!