Cheese In My Hair

Was there a recall on my child that I missed? Some days I wonder what little postcard from heaven did I not receive because our mail has been missboxed...AGAIN...but that is a story for another day.

For the first time in a very long time my husband and I were able to sleep in on a Saturday. Probably would have been better if I had gone on and gotten up. My 9-year old, Abby, had been up for hours and was out in the kitchen giving our dog BB (Big Bertha) her medicine when she ran into a little snag. It seems that some of the cheese she had been using to wrap the dog's pill in had somehow gotten into her hair.

She came into the doorway of the master bedroom to tell me she had gotten a little bit of cheese in her hair. I'm half asleep so I mumble just get a wipee and try to get it out with that, when I get up I will wash your hair and get out what you miss. Before I can even get the word "wipee" out of my mouth, she proceeds to tell me she has already tried to wipe it out and it wouldn't come out, so she just cut it off with the scissors.

You know the average parent would probably come flying out bed at the words hair, scissors and cut it off all uttered by their child in the same sentence. I have come to realize that I am not the average parent and my children are not average either. They tend to fluctuate between being complete morons to extreme geniuses at any given moment in time. Average they are not.

Now where were we... oh yeah, she says she has cut the offending cheese out of her hair and my mind is working overtime thinking well her hair needed trimming anyway, I'll just even it up with the scissors after I wash her hair. Well, in a perfect world that would work out just fine, but we don't live in a perfect world now do we?!

Abby has successfully roused both my husband and I out of our perfect slumber with her little hair dialogue so we give up and get up. Abby's hair is longish, it falls just below her shoulders so I am picturing she has gotten the cheese in the ends of her hair, kinda like when she eats and her hair falls forward into her plate. Not So!

I go into the kitchen to get the coffee maker going and to get the broom so I can sweep up any stray hairs that may be on the floor when my eyes zero in on the top of my child's head. She is now sporting a miniature mohawk that is about two inches in length and an inch in height on the very top of her head.

Apparently she is convinced that I can do anything because as she calmly chews her mouthful of cereal she says to me "Say momma, how are you gonna fix this?" I could actually hear the cartoon Ooga Horn as my eyes shot three feet out of my head! I'm thinking, "Fix it?! Yeah good luck with that!" I told her I wasn't exactly sure what I would have to do, but I would try to think of something.

She must have seen the look of uncertainty on my face because she suggested we put some hairspray on it. I asked her "Why, do you want it to stand up nice and straight instead of waving in the wind like it is now?"

She didn't seem to appreciate my sense of humor.

I told her not to worry, we would try to disguise it somehow. If we couldn't, I told her not to fret over it too much, she wouldn't even notice it unless she looked in the mirror. I could tell by the look she gave me that time she didn't like that comment either.

She went back to eating her cereal and then pointed to a pile of papers from her bookbag and said, "I forgot to give these to you yesterday. You need to fill that form out, we are having school pictures made next Friday."

Greatttttt......you couldn't just wash the cheese out now could you, it made much more sense to cut it out......You really should know, this is just one day in the life of the Martin home. Alot of times the only thing that changes around here is the day of the week and I sure feel like I spend an awful lot of time with cheese in my hair.......