Domestic Goddess

I have found when you give a creative title to most things you can turn the ordinary in extraordinary.  It is a way to take a mundane position and make it sound like something that not only pays well but is interesting to boot!  For instance Sanitation Engineer vs Garbage Man, which would you rather be?

So here I am, previously employed office worker (sounds better than laid off) working behind the scenes on some promotion work, and missing her blog and all the stories that have gone untold as each day has flown by.  I should be thrilled at the opportunity to catch up on my laundry but for some reason the role of housewife has never really been something that I've done well.

I admire and envy those ladies that are able to give their all, and run their households like a well oiled machine, you know them, the Domestic Goddesses of the world.   They are perfect in every way.  Not only do they run their households like a well oiled machine, they do it with seemingly little effort.  I am certain they are Stepford Wives!

I love my family, but while the DG has her family off to school with a hot breakfast in their tummy, I am shouting words of encouragement from my bed much like Charlie Buckets grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.   Ice cream sandwich for breakfast?   Sure, why not?!  It's got eggs and milk in there somewhere.

The Goddess zips around in her stylish shoes and upper scale costume jewelry with perfectly manicured nails doing her wash and cleaning her home, while I am letting the day get away from me by enjoying just a few minutes out on the front porch amongst the trumpet vines and  hummingbirds.    Before you know it, Abby is getting off the bus and coming up the driveway.  There I am, in my pj's, notebook in hand while I capture my thoughts on paper, and my teeth feel like they're wearing sweaters because I have yet to brush them.   Gross  I know, but it is what it is.

I have friends that are  Domestic Goddesses, while I am more of a Domestic Misfit.  The housework gets done, but if your gonna drop by unannounced it is truly at your own risk....if you need tolerably tidy please at least let me know you are at the top of my street so I can do the white tornado.  Now it's nothing like those shows where people are nasty mind you, just stuff like a mountain of clean laundry begging to be put away on the dining room table.

This week Ray and I have spent a fantastic time with some friends at their vacation spot.  It has been a much needed escape from reality, and lucky for us extremely low budget.

While crossing the state line from Georgia to Florida I was once again reminded of my failings as a housewife as I noticed the spanish moss dripping from the trees and made a mental note to clean the ceiling fans when I got back home.....

©  2010  Annette Bagley-Martin

In Shape

Recently I was onstage doing stand-up comedy for my Comedy 101  graduation, afterward, while watching the video, I noted the following:

1.  My sister is excellent at videoing from a regular camera with the video feature!

2.  The camera does not add ten pounds, it's more like twenty-five (either that or I am a heifer).

I was so careful when choosing what I was going to wear that night,  yet after viewing the video I was not pleased with the look.  I've known for some time that I have gotten out of shape, I just didn't realize I had become a shape!  Apparently I have become a pear.   Come to think of it, I think I have always been a pear, I just wasn't so ripe as I am now!  =)

I don't even like pears,  I wonder if I stand on my head if I can shift the fat and balance out my top half.........Mooooooo

©  2010  Annette Bagley-Martin

Ahem, Gourmet?

I was shopping in the local Sam's Club this week and came across a pallet of Ricos Nacho Cheddar Cheese Sauce. While that in and of itself is really nothing to go on about the description on the label made me do a double-take.

The product claims that this is Nacho ordinary cheddar cheese sauce, but in fact Gourmet!   Really, Gourmet?  Is that Spanish for something?

According to Webster, Gourmet is an adjective used to describe "high-quality or exotic ingredients and skilled preparation".  I have to believe that if this was truly the case, wouldn't the packaging be much nicer than it's current cardboard container that is very similar to a Crisco can?

Now don't get me wrong, I like nacho's as well as the next fellow, but I find it a stretch to describe this sauce as gastronomo as our Spanish speaking friends would  put it.  Perhaps it's the added topping of sliced jalapenos that brings the dish to a higher level?  Not too sure..........

©  2010  Annette Bagley-Martin