The Color of My Parachute

In my never ending search for the leg up in life I have been led down many a path.  Today, I decided to investigate the website:  www.govbenefits.gov

This site allows you to take a questionnaire that uses your responses to multiple choice questions to determine what government grants, benefits, or programs you may qualify for.   Around question number 50,  I began to wonder if there was some sort of hidden camera logging my reaction to what I was being asked.

At first the questions were what I would categorize as typical; birth date, marital status, number in household, highest grade achieved.  Then, they began to delve further into topics I hadn't even realized there might be a grant or program for.  For example:  At one point I was asked if I was a victim of torture.  Well, I AM a parent of two girls, that does count, right?

Also, if I was suffering from any "military sexual trauma" there was some sort of program that I just might qualify for.  I have to admit that produced a kaleidoscope of images in my mind while trying to figure out just what MST was.

I happen to be someone that believes our military deserve every benefit, freebie, grant, handshake, hand pat, leg up, free ticket, or discount available out there in the USA.  I also do not understand why they, their spouses or minor children pay for anything. They have already committed their lives to their country, I believe that is payment enough for the rest of their lives.

Other questions wanted to know if I had fallen victim to any areas that had been declared a natural disaster or if I was the surviving spouse of anyone that had lost their lives in 9/11.    If I was a coal miner there was apparently a niche I fit into as well.  I'm guessing after this year, there will be questions regarding my falling victim to BP's little disaster in the Gulf.

I answered all their questions with complete honestly and thirty minutes later was given a list of programs that I just might qualify for.  All I needed to do was go onto each of their websites and fill out yet another questionnaire or application to determine eligibility.  All in all, I got exactly what I expected, a habit trail of websites to venture out on.  These sites were actually local government programs such as TANF and are great programs for those in need.  I just think it was a whole lot like going out the front door to get to the barn.

Why did I waste my time?  Well, so that I could provide you all with my slightly askew opinion on one of the sights that many of those "free money" authors are giving you in exchange for the dollars you are earning  by the sweat of your brow.....or via unemployment if you are amongst the almost 12% in our area.

I think I will continue to check out these million sellers and report back to you on whether or not they are worth your gold or are instead,  fools gold.Perhaps I can get enough folks to pay for  a subscription and I will develop a newsletter that will publish results of checking out all these places for you.  If you hear of something that sounds too good to be true, more than likely it is, but shoot it over to me, I will check it out for ya! (cheeseinmyhair@bellsouth.net)

In the meanwhile, I think I'm  gonna go back and answer those questions again and choose some of the more obscure answers and see just what else the government might have available to me.   Mmmmm,  I probably should be  determining exactly what color my parachute is.....honestly, I am more concerned with the functionality of my parachute over the color, currently, it seems to be dragging behind me, whilst the suspension lines are getting caught up in all manner of debris.

©  2010  Annette Bagley-Martin