Safe S-E-X

Today I read an article about a school committee in Provincetown  Massachusetts, that unanimously adopted a condom distribution policy for the elementary school and high school.   It is part of their "safe sex education."

OK, where to begin......First, I would like to point out the folks in Massachusetts must not have middle school because they left that group completely out of their policy.  I'm guessing they are part of the high school.  Either way, in my opinion sex education begins at home and  starts a whole lot sooner than most folks think it does.  Having to actually teach them safety in regards to sex makes me sad, but it is what it is.

I will never forget the time when Alex was somewhere between two and three, we had apparently forgotten to lock our bedroom door and in the midst of the throes of passion I feel two eyes upon me, and it was not the cat.

I look over to my left and find myself staring straight at  Alex, chin propped up in the palms of her hands watching us with wide eyed interest.  She says in a  sweet, little voice; "Hi mommy, what you doing?"  I look up at Ray, who at this point is looming over me with a look on his face akin to a deer caught in the headlights, and say "I don't know, what we doing Ray?"

I believe this is where the "Ask your momma.  Ask your daddy" scenario originates in every household, your kid walks in on you while your having sex.  Now, we don't tell our children that's what we're doing, nooooo God forbid they should find that out!  Eventually, they do put two and two together though.

Kids for the first six or seven years of their lives are typically given the run around whenever they walk in on their parents "napping" in the middle of the day or "showering" together.  Once, one of the kids in children's church informed the entire class, when asked what their plans were for after church; "We always go home to eat lunch and then my mom and dad take off their shirts and wrestle while we are supposed to take a nap."

We as parents tend to steer our kids line of vision away from dogs going at it in the yard, and we hope they don't ask how fluffy got all those cute kittens in her tummy.  My kids have seen the frogs outside fill the kiddie pool to the brim with eggs and witnessed the resulting plague of frogs.  They have seen "Nacho riding Josie like a dirt bike" as Ray so eloquently puts it, but to this day,  neither of them has ever asked either of us those words dreaded by parents the world over; " Where do babies come from?"

Ray say's it's because I have told them so many whoppers over the years they wouldn't believe me anyway.  I always thought I would be well prepared because the truth is so fantastic, what better tale to tell!   I have been robbed!  Let's face it, they know where they come from, from the mommy's tummy, duh!  Isn't it lucky that I got to tell them how they got in there?  The question is,  do they know it can kill them?

When I was coming up, one of the worst things that could happen to a girl in school was to get pregnant out of "wedlock".  (Wedlock? That never sounded appealing, who thought that term up?)  These days kids go to school and exchange sexual favors like silly bands and label it "friends with benefits".

We have television shows that in my opinion remove the stigma from promiscuity or teenage pregnancy.  What do I mean?  How many of you were shocked and speechless the first time you saw that first plane fly into the twin towers on 9/11?  Ok, how many of you were still speechless three days later after you had seen it countless times?  You became numb to it all didn't you.

Shows on TV like The Girls Next Door, 16 and Pregnant or A Baby Story de-sensetise us  from the fact that sex  has come out from behind closed doors and is no longer something shared by a man and a woman joined in holy matrimony.  I want my girls to know that sex is not a game to be played with multiple partners, having a baby when your a teen is a big freaking deal and will make your dreams in life harder to achieve.  It's good that they see that love between a man and a woman is a wonderful thing and is best shared when your in a committed relationship, and as a result of sex in the relationship children will be born.  But I think that with the showing of this on television day in and day out, it takes away from what a true miracle  the birth of a child really is.

All in all, don't be afraid to talk to your kids.  Give em the facts jack, don't be afraid of filling their heads with ideas, they have plenty of  friends that will do that for you.  Truth is power, and this kind of truth can save their lives, so bite the bullet and have a talk with them. Don't assume they already know.

My youngest, Abby, is going to be 12 in seven days.  She is already getting boobs, knows all about "periods" and I'm pretty sure if there are any questions regarding sex she will be glad to answer them for me.  I'm kidding, she and I have had "the talk".  If  I ever bring the subject up, she turns red and gets all embarrassed.  I'm glad! I prefer her just the way she is, sweet and goofy, with a bottomless pit for a stomach that has currently discovered the delicacy of bacon covered with Redi Whip.  I hope she stays that way a little while longer.

©  2010  Annette Bagley-Martin