In keeping with my reputation for being the Minister of Information, I recently read a book about Fung Shui. Not for any particular reason, just to see what it was all about. Talk about step on a crack and break your momma’s back! Fung Shui is not for the person that pays no attention to the details. There are loads of rules, graphs, numbers, compasses etc and so forth. Very serious business.
Anyway, once I got my fill of this special way of living in ones surroundings, I got to thinking how nice it would be to utilize one of the suggestions in the book and I went out and got myself a little Betta fish for my office.
Is he in the correct quadrant of my office? Is his home perched in the correct spot? I’m not sure. But I am certain of this, he is great!
With all the eagerness of an expectant parent, I thought long and hard about what I was going to name the little critter. I am very satisfied with my choice. Vern Yip. That’s right, the King of Fung Shui himself! What could be more fitting than to be named after a resident of the great ATL who is not only famous but quite talented as well.
Anyway……..Vern’s been living the good life in my office at work and we had the Columbus Day Holiday coming up, so I decided that I was going to take Vern home for the weekend. Not one of my better ideas.
Vern was residing in an old fashioned, round fish bowl, I felt like it would be a piece of cake when it came to travel. I’m not a complete moron mind you; I did empty the vast majority of the water from his bowl.
It seems you can never get a fishbowl empty enough, especially if you are driving with it between your legs on roads that seemed relatively smooth based upon your last recollection.
Well, every blip, bump or piece of gravel on the journey home sent the inch and a half of water in Vern’s bowl slurping and sloshing everywhere! By the time I had made it the short 10 miles home I looked like I had wet my pants and I’m pretty sure Vern was suffering from a concussion.
It turns out he was none the worse for wear. In the meanwhile, the cat has become intrigued with him. Now she divides her time between Vern and Nacho. Nacho is Abby’s cockatiel that lives in my home office. It appears that I have this need to incorporate livestock into my business surroundings…..
I went back to work today. Vern did not. He is happily swimming about in a vintage, barrel shaped glass cookie jar in the kitchen window sill.
I think I will get a new fish for the office, Vern seems so taken with the zoo that is my home.
Well I'm back to square one, what shall I name the new Betta? Any suggestions will be appreciated.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Living on the Scream Machine
2008 has been a rollercoaster of a ride for our household. The real estate industry taking a nosedive has caused our household income to plummet into the basement. The cost of living rising at the same rate of speed with which our income has fallen has caused that yucky bottom dropping out of your stomach kinda feeling you get on that first, giant, downhill slide on the Scream Machine at Six Flags Over Georgia.
Our two daughters and all that encompasses the raising of children in this day and age sends me back up that next hill with the click-click-click of the wheels on the track echoing in my head. Somehow, I feel I am too old to have kids this young.
Down we swoosh again with the flooded basement from the rain storm from the night before, woe to the mole that dug those holes at the foundation of the house.
Read the news and there are crazy people doing the unspeakable for who knows what reason. I watch as our grandmother with Alzheimer’s is slowly losing touch. We cringe each time we crank up our vehicles that love to guzzle gas. Shopping for groceries increases the anxiety level when potatoes now cost $4.99 for a 5 lb bag and coffee is now almost $13 a can!
I have listened on the phone when close friends call to say that a school friend has given up and chosen suicide, while other friends with terminal illnesses are fighting for their lives.
This year has had just as many upward swings as downward swoops.
We have spent many days and nights with the kids and their boyfriends and best friends. Been witness to the falling ins and falling outs. Celebrated the receiving of driving permits and new pets. We have had our fair share of days swimming in the pool, watching fireworks on the fourth and eating too much watermelon.
We have sat in the dark listening to the kids outside on the covered porch during stormy nights, watching the torrential rains and then hearing them all giggling after the boys scream like girls at that last loud crack and boom of lightening and thunder.
Yes, for me, it is just like a rollercoaster, scary and exhilarating at the same time. My husband would beg to differ with me. Many of these circumstances make his head feel like it is going to pop off of his shoulders.
I don’t blame him, if I were not me; I guess I would feel the same way. I instead put on my Scarlett O’Hara attitude, done my green velvet dress cut from the draperies and worry about all the crap tomorrow. Today has its own misery. I don’t have the time nor inclination to muddy up the waters with tomorrows issues.
I thank God that my bills today are paid, my stomach today is full and my family today is together, I don’t know what tomorrow brings, it has not been promised to me anyway, but today, I will not complain.
Our two daughters and all that encompasses the raising of children in this day and age sends me back up that next hill with the click-click-click of the wheels on the track echoing in my head. Somehow, I feel I am too old to have kids this young.
Down we swoosh again with the flooded basement from the rain storm from the night before, woe to the mole that dug those holes at the foundation of the house.
Read the news and there are crazy people doing the unspeakable for who knows what reason. I watch as our grandmother with Alzheimer’s is slowly losing touch. We cringe each time we crank up our vehicles that love to guzzle gas. Shopping for groceries increases the anxiety level when potatoes now cost $4.99 for a 5 lb bag and coffee is now almost $13 a can!
I have listened on the phone when close friends call to say that a school friend has given up and chosen suicide, while other friends with terminal illnesses are fighting for their lives.
This year has had just as many upward swings as downward swoops.
We have spent many days and nights with the kids and their boyfriends and best friends. Been witness to the falling ins and falling outs. Celebrated the receiving of driving permits and new pets. We have had our fair share of days swimming in the pool, watching fireworks on the fourth and eating too much watermelon.
We have sat in the dark listening to the kids outside on the covered porch during stormy nights, watching the torrential rains and then hearing them all giggling after the boys scream like girls at that last loud crack and boom of lightening and thunder.
Yes, for me, it is just like a rollercoaster, scary and exhilarating at the same time. My husband would beg to differ with me. Many of these circumstances make his head feel like it is going to pop off of his shoulders.
I don’t blame him, if I were not me; I guess I would feel the same way. I instead put on my Scarlett O’Hara attitude, done my green velvet dress cut from the draperies and worry about all the crap tomorrow. Today has its own misery. I don’t have the time nor inclination to muddy up the waters with tomorrows issues.
I thank God that my bills today are paid, my stomach today is full and my family today is together, I don’t know what tomorrow brings, it has not been promised to me anyway, but today, I will not complain.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Free Kittens
For the last three years Abby has been asking for a kitten. We thought that at 6 she was too young to take care of one, so we told her "not right now".
Well, like any kid determined to get her way, she didn't take no for an answer! She asked why and why not and how come, and my personal favorite "what if I promise to......." I coudn't keep up with the list of empty promises she proposed in order to get the kitten of her dreams.
I have nothing against kittens or cats, I love them. In fact I had one for about 15 years, his name was Rusty and he was one of the best pets I have ever had.
Abby was so funny in her quest to become a cat mommy that whenever we were driving down the road she would scout the intersections for signs and would always be sure to point them out. Look mom! Free kittens........F R E E, freeeeeeee. The're giving them away!!!!!
She was shocked that something so precious could be had so cheaply. What were people thinking?! This was a kitten for crying out loud. It would play with you and sleep with you and be soft and cuddly and sweet and and and......oh so many things that she couldn't name them all.
Well, yesterday while she was spending the day with her grandmother, Ray and I saw a sign for free kittens, so we called the number and went to see the little boogers.
Yes, we picked out a very cute little kitten for Abby. She was very surprised and they have been inseperable since.
For the record, since my trip to the store for the basic kitten essentials, our free kitten has only cost us a mere $56 and some change and mind you those are pre-vet dollars. Hopefully she will pulling her weight around here very soon, she can begin by finding the rouge hamster that got loose from it's cage last week.......
Well, like any kid determined to get her way, she didn't take no for an answer! She asked why and why not and how come, and my personal favorite "what if I promise to......." I coudn't keep up with the list of empty promises she proposed in order to get the kitten of her dreams.
I have nothing against kittens or cats, I love them. In fact I had one for about 15 years, his name was Rusty and he was one of the best pets I have ever had.
Abby was so funny in her quest to become a cat mommy that whenever we were driving down the road she would scout the intersections for signs and would always be sure to point them out. Look mom! Free kittens........F R E E, freeeeeeee. The're giving them away!!!!!
She was shocked that something so precious could be had so cheaply. What were people thinking?! This was a kitten for crying out loud. It would play with you and sleep with you and be soft and cuddly and sweet and and and......oh so many things that she couldn't name them all.
Well, yesterday while she was spending the day with her grandmother, Ray and I saw a sign for free kittens, so we called the number and went to see the little boogers.
Yes, we picked out a very cute little kitten for Abby. She was very surprised and they have been inseperable since.
For the record, since my trip to the store for the basic kitten essentials, our free kitten has only cost us a mere $56 and some change and mind you those are pre-vet dollars. Hopefully she will pulling her weight around here very soon, she can begin by finding the rouge hamster that got loose from it's cage last week.......
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Hair Today, Blonde Tomorrow
About nine years ago I met someone who not only became one of my dearest friends but she also became my hairdresser. She asked me just the other day if I had blogged about my hair yet, I told her no, I was still trying to decide whether or not I would. She just cringed and we laughed. I told her not to worry.
So for privacy sake I will only give her initials, T. R. I. N. A.
She is going to die (or should I say dye?) when she sees this so I better take my time and get it right. I count on her commenting if I leave out anything important.
Through the years the two of us have embarked on many adventures that began on the top of my head. The first time she ever cut my hair, it was just past my shoulders and all I ever did with it was pull it back in a pony tail or braid it. It was hot and just got in the way all the time. I also had this silver streak running through the right side that I thought was pretty neat looking.
At the time I was ready to cut the whole thing off and highlight the tips of my hair as light as we could, it was a very drastic change and she was not completely convinced that I knew what I was getting myself into.
Little did she know that before we had met I had gone from long to short to long hair many times before. Despite this claim she still insisted that I call my husband and get his okey dokey before she went to wacking away at my head. I obediently called Ray and asked if he cared if I cut my hair off. He said it was my hair, do as I wished. That kinda threw me off since he had always been so vocal in the past in regards to my latest and greatest do, hmmmm, what does he mean it's my hair, cut it if I want to? Is he trying to use reverse psychology on me?
Well, it did't work. I sat in the chair and she began to work her magic. The style was great and shorrrrrrrt. The color perfect. To quote Trina when her husband called during our little makeover she was striping me like a zebra. It was by far one of the most awesome do's we have ever done. Little did people know it was just a taste of things to come....
As time has passed I have grown it back out and cut it back off, permed it, colored it red, black and purple one time by accident, but always different. No sooner does everyone get used to one look and then I change it. For me this is a blast. In fact I am not happy unless my hair can be styled into at least 2 different looks per hairstyle. Not asking much am I?!
As time has passed that little silver streak has grown to cover most of the top of my head. I have worked overtime trying to keep my hair colored the dark brown I was born with and it is now getting to the point of ridiculous trying to keep up with it. So I decided it was time to cut it short, highlight the top and let the many applications of brown hair color grow out. It will be interesting to see what color my hair really is ---or not, only time will tell.
I call Trina, tell her the plan, she marks me down in her appointment book and we wait for D-Day. Little did I know we were about to embark on the adventure of our lives!
I arrive at her shop on the appointed day ( A Friday) and show Trina two hairstyles that I liked. She and I discuss the pro's and con's of each and then I choose the style I then like best and we move on to step 2, highlighting of the hair.
I should have know when she began her sentence with; "I've been thinking about your hair and ........ that the day was was going to be one neither of us would forget very soon.
She suggested that I go a little heavier with the blonde than just pulling the top portion through a cap and highlighting those few sprigs. It was apparent that I had quite a bit of white hair coming through on top and it might blend better if we went a little heavier with the highlights. In theory, that sounded great. In reality, not so much.
Trina had not been the one doing my hair color all this time. I was the one putting bottle after bottle of dark brown color on my head every 4-6 weeks for the past two or three years. She had no idea how much color there was to strip off of my noggin and I had no clue that it mattered. It matters.
Four hours and two bleach applications later I have a striking head of strawberry blond hair. In fact it struck me everytime I got a glimpse of myself. It was alot like having a baby, you don't get what you expect and you don't expect what you get. Trina tried to hold herself together for my sake but I could tell that things didn't quite work out the way she had planned.
She called the beauty supply shop and told them I was coming by to get a conditioning treatment for my hair and she put me on her book for a second attempt at blonde for the following friday. The style was good and my bangs were melting, but what the heck, worst case scenario I would get a few strange looks for the next week.
Did I say a few? I actually got alot of looks and many comments, but I have to say that it was such an out of the ordinary look for me that I began to have alot of fun with it. I went to the drugstore the following day and had a couple of people who couldn't control themselves and they just outright stared at me. I laughed and commented that it was hard to believe this wasn't my natural hair color huh! They would laugh and go about their business.
Trina called me later that day and said "Your not going to church tomorrow are you?" I laughed and said "No, not to my church anyway. I had decided to go visit her church and when people asked how I knew Trina I was going to tell them she was my hairdresser." She didn't see the humor in that at all.
Long story short, I went back to her shop that evening and she put a rinse on my hair to take the brassyness out and all was well with the world. It actually took a third trip to her shop to really get it to a more natural looking color. It went from strawberry blonde to banana yellow, to a nice ashy shade of blonde in three simple trips.
Trina's husband Michael suggested I put a Dole banana sticker on my forehead and go about my business. Your killing me Michael! I guess people are so used to my shenanigans with my hair that when something like this happens, they think it is on purpose. Trina did say though that a mutual friend asked her when she was going to fix my hair. That really cracked me up. Trina told her it was a work in progress. I thought that was a very appropriate answer!
Would I do it again? You betcha, but only if Trina is the one doing it with me!!! By far this was the best "hair do" I have had in a long time, but I am a little weird that way. I have to admit that a couple of days there my new look would go from being funny to me to not so much funny as freakish. But for the most part anything that can make me laugh I am all for and if you can't laugh at your self, well then you are taking things just a little too seriously!
Peace Out.
So for privacy sake I will only give her initials, T. R. I. N. A.
She is going to die (or should I say dye?) when she sees this so I better take my time and get it right. I count on her commenting if I leave out anything important.
Through the years the two of us have embarked on many adventures that began on the top of my head. The first time she ever cut my hair, it was just past my shoulders and all I ever did with it was pull it back in a pony tail or braid it. It was hot and just got in the way all the time. I also had this silver streak running through the right side that I thought was pretty neat looking.
At the time I was ready to cut the whole thing off and highlight the tips of my hair as light as we could, it was a very drastic change and she was not completely convinced that I knew what I was getting myself into.
Little did she know that before we had met I had gone from long to short to long hair many times before. Despite this claim she still insisted that I call my husband and get his okey dokey before she went to wacking away at my head. I obediently called Ray and asked if he cared if I cut my hair off. He said it was my hair, do as I wished. That kinda threw me off since he had always been so vocal in the past in regards to my latest and greatest do, hmmmm, what does he mean it's my hair, cut it if I want to? Is he trying to use reverse psychology on me?
Well, it did't work. I sat in the chair and she began to work her magic. The style was great and shorrrrrrrt. The color perfect. To quote Trina when her husband called during our little makeover she was striping me like a zebra. It was by far one of the most awesome do's we have ever done. Little did people know it was just a taste of things to come....
As time has passed I have grown it back out and cut it back off, permed it, colored it red, black and purple one time by accident, but always different. No sooner does everyone get used to one look and then I change it. For me this is a blast. In fact I am not happy unless my hair can be styled into at least 2 different looks per hairstyle. Not asking much am I?!
As time has passed that little silver streak has grown to cover most of the top of my head. I have worked overtime trying to keep my hair colored the dark brown I was born with and it is now getting to the point of ridiculous trying to keep up with it. So I decided it was time to cut it short, highlight the top and let the many applications of brown hair color grow out. It will be interesting to see what color my hair really is ---or not, only time will tell.
I call Trina, tell her the plan, she marks me down in her appointment book and we wait for D-Day. Little did I know we were about to embark on the adventure of our lives!
I arrive at her shop on the appointed day ( A Friday) and show Trina two hairstyles that I liked. She and I discuss the pro's and con's of each and then I choose the style I then like best and we move on to step 2, highlighting of the hair.
I should have know when she began her sentence with; "I've been thinking about your hair and ........ that the day was was going to be one neither of us would forget very soon.
She suggested that I go a little heavier with the blonde than just pulling the top portion through a cap and highlighting those few sprigs. It was apparent that I had quite a bit of white hair coming through on top and it might blend better if we went a little heavier with the highlights. In theory, that sounded great. In reality, not so much.
Trina had not been the one doing my hair color all this time. I was the one putting bottle after bottle of dark brown color on my head every 4-6 weeks for the past two or three years. She had no idea how much color there was to strip off of my noggin and I had no clue that it mattered. It matters.
Four hours and two bleach applications later I have a striking head of strawberry blond hair. In fact it struck me everytime I got a glimpse of myself. It was alot like having a baby, you don't get what you expect and you don't expect what you get. Trina tried to hold herself together for my sake but I could tell that things didn't quite work out the way she had planned.
She called the beauty supply shop and told them I was coming by to get a conditioning treatment for my hair and she put me on her book for a second attempt at blonde for the following friday. The style was good and my bangs were melting, but what the heck, worst case scenario I would get a few strange looks for the next week.
Did I say a few? I actually got alot of looks and many comments, but I have to say that it was such an out of the ordinary look for me that I began to have alot of fun with it. I went to the drugstore the following day and had a couple of people who couldn't control themselves and they just outright stared at me. I laughed and commented that it was hard to believe this wasn't my natural hair color huh! They would laugh and go about their business.
Trina called me later that day and said "Your not going to church tomorrow are you?" I laughed and said "No, not to my church anyway. I had decided to go visit her church and when people asked how I knew Trina I was going to tell them she was my hairdresser." She didn't see the humor in that at all.
Long story short, I went back to her shop that evening and she put a rinse on my hair to take the brassyness out and all was well with the world. It actually took a third trip to her shop to really get it to a more natural looking color. It went from strawberry blonde to banana yellow, to a nice ashy shade of blonde in three simple trips.
Trina's husband Michael suggested I put a Dole banana sticker on my forehead and go about my business. Your killing me Michael! I guess people are so used to my shenanigans with my hair that when something like this happens, they think it is on purpose. Trina did say though that a mutual friend asked her when she was going to fix my hair. That really cracked me up. Trina told her it was a work in progress. I thought that was a very appropriate answer!
Would I do it again? You betcha, but only if Trina is the one doing it with me!!! By far this was the best "hair do" I have had in a long time, but I am a little weird that way. I have to admit that a couple of days there my new look would go from being funny to me to not so much funny as freakish. But for the most part anything that can make me laugh I am all for and if you can't laugh at your self, well then you are taking things just a little too seriously!
Peace Out.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
$3 CAR WASH
Did you ever notice that when you are in kind of a hurry, not full blown running behind, just kinda in a hurry that it takes very little to cause total chaos to ensue.
Today I had just enough time to leave work and run my truck through the car wash before I picked Alex up from school. I like to go to the $3 car wash on Douglas Boulevard, it takes very little time and the use of the vacuum cleaner is included in the price.
All I had time to do was run the car through the wash and then zip on down the road to the highschool. As I got my car lined up with the track that guides your vehicle through the corridor with all the wash dodads, I noticed that both of the front windows were opened just a smidge.
Crap! Ray must have opened them when he drove my truck this morning. I'm all ready for soapiness at this point so I start pushing buttons and get the windows up just in the nick of time. Then I start wondering if I actually closed my sunroof all the way or did I overshoot it and it's open a little bit as well.
It is very easy to push the button just a little too much and it will then open in a vent like position. Give it another push of a button and it will then reverse directions and open back all the way! Very tricky and I can never qet it quite right.
I decide (bad choice) to just give the button a little bump just to make sure it is closed all the way. Remember where I mentioned that if the sunroof is already properly closed it will then reverse directions and completely open if you hit the button. I had gotten it closed properly the first time and at this point, midway through the wash cycle I was now grappling with the sunroof switch to try and stop it from completely opening as I am traveling at a snails pace through a very vigorous wash cycle.
Wheww! I almost messed up, or so I thought......
My sense of peace dissolved with the water that began to drip down on me and then ran in rivulets down the sides of my windshield and across the tops of the doors and quite strangely from the middle of the compass located on the ceiling right above the rear view mirror.
The moral of the story is, when in doubt, don't touch nothin'!
My hair and clothes did not get thoroughly drenched but they were wet enough that you could tell I had been around some water. Thank goodness it was hot enough out today to dry myself and the small amount of water that did get in the truck by the time I got home.
Today I had just enough time to leave work and run my truck through the car wash before I picked Alex up from school. I like to go to the $3 car wash on Douglas Boulevard, it takes very little time and the use of the vacuum cleaner is included in the price.
All I had time to do was run the car through the wash and then zip on down the road to the highschool. As I got my car lined up with the track that guides your vehicle through the corridor with all the wash dodads, I noticed that both of the front windows were opened just a smidge.
Crap! Ray must have opened them when he drove my truck this morning. I'm all ready for soapiness at this point so I start pushing buttons and get the windows up just in the nick of time. Then I start wondering if I actually closed my sunroof all the way or did I overshoot it and it's open a little bit as well.
It is very easy to push the button just a little too much and it will then open in a vent like position. Give it another push of a button and it will then reverse directions and open back all the way! Very tricky and I can never qet it quite right.
I decide (bad choice) to just give the button a little bump just to make sure it is closed all the way. Remember where I mentioned that if the sunroof is already properly closed it will then reverse directions and completely open if you hit the button. I had gotten it closed properly the first time and at this point, midway through the wash cycle I was now grappling with the sunroof switch to try and stop it from completely opening as I am traveling at a snails pace through a very vigorous wash cycle.
Wheww! I almost messed up, or so I thought......
My sense of peace dissolved with the water that began to drip down on me and then ran in rivulets down the sides of my windshield and across the tops of the doors and quite strangely from the middle of the compass located on the ceiling right above the rear view mirror.
The moral of the story is, when in doubt, don't touch nothin'!
My hair and clothes did not get thoroughly drenched but they were wet enough that you could tell I had been around some water. Thank goodness it was hot enough out today to dry myself and the small amount of water that did get in the truck by the time I got home.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Body Glitter
Body Glitter------those two words conjure up a million images in the mind. Depending on who you are and your particular situation at this very minute will probably have a lot to do with what those images may be. Well….get your minds out of the gutter and let’s concentrate on Douglasville, GA.
I cannot pinpoint the exact time, but everything that I thought I ever knew about people, places or things went flying out the window roughly the same time I gave birth to my first child, but then again who knows. It seems ever since then, I have been constantly amazed at the daily adventures of my wonderful life!
For example, when Abby was about 5 years old she had gotten to where she liked makeup, all kinds of makeup. Makeup I didn’t even realize you could purchase unless you had some sort of connection through perhaps a Strippers/Hookers Local Union No. 7 or whatever resources they have at their disposal.
Either way, one Christmas, Abby requested that Santa bring her some makeup, and makeup he did bring! Ok, so I really got the makeup but she had gone from NOT believing in Santa to believing and she refused to listen when I told her there is no such thing as Santa. Whatever, I still like to believe that there will be funds in social security when I am ready to retire, so we each have our own little fantasy worlds don’t we?
The makeup that I purchased and so carefully placed under the tree had lots of goodies in it; lip glosses and lipsticks, eye shadows and nail polishes and lots of little pots of glitter. Glitter…….it didn’t really strike me as odd at the time because my oldest child had received little goody bags from past birthday parties that contained glitter gels and glitter wands. So you could strategically place glitter in you hair; for that festive look I guess?
Evidently Alex didn’t really “get into” the whole glitter thing because I do not remember the glitter phenomenon that was going on in our house at the time.
Now the glitter that I am talking about is not that stuff that comes in multiple colors that you find used in many childhood crafty sort of projects. No, this stuff is quite finely ground, and is what I perceive actual fairies must use in their day to day operations in Wonderland.
It all began when I went in Abby’s room to change the bed sheets and do some general tidying up. I didn’t notice it at first, but when I yanked the bottom sheet off of her bed I was surrounded by a cloud of glitter dust.
Now I know what it is like on the inside of one of those water globes that I used to collect. Talk about weird. In retrospect, I had made the comment to Ray the previous Saturday that I felt like we were living with Tinkerbelle, because every time Abby flew by me (she doesn’t really walk anywhere) I seemed to get covered with glitter. Well, it has now been confirmed!
After getting the sheets off of her bed and looking around at the fallout, there was glitter all over her floor, not a pile mind you, just a fine dusting of it. I hadn’t swept the house in three days and as I made my way around looking at everything I began to notice just how much glitter there was in the place. It's a good thing I have that HEPA filter deal on my vacuum! I couldn't decide if this is better or worse than her eyebrow escapade!
A couple of you have already heard about this, but one day after school I was sweeping up, (it is an endless job because most of our floors are wood).
As I walked past Abby's bedroom door, I saw out of the corner of my eye that she was standing on her bed reaching up to change the channel on her TV (she has an entertainment center built into the wall and the TV is placed up high, she must have misplaced the remote).
Well, she heard me coming down the hall and just as I got to her doorway, she turned around and said, “Hey, how do you like my eyebrows??!!!!!”
Dear Lord! Have you ever heard the term “Rooted to the Spot”, well I lived it. She looked just like Groucho Marx. She then proceeded to tell me how she had used a black marker to color them in. I couldn’t say anything but she was just sharp enough to realize that the look on my face was not a good one.
She said, don’t worry mommy, I used the marker that you write on the glass with, you know the dry erase marker. All I could think of was “She ain’t made of glass, I am going to have to shave her eyebrows off and scrub her face with a brillo pad.” “When are school pictures? Has the yearbook picture already been taken??!!!”
I think she realized I didn’t see what she saw in the mirror, so she proceeded to tell me, “Don’t worry it will come off, I used the wipe off marker.” Then she looked into the mirror on the wall and said to herself as much as to me, “Well….it should come off…….Let’s see if it comes off!!!!!!!!!” I said good idea, get a wet rag!
She ran and got one and proceeded to scrub her face. It came off, just like she planned. I really hate that since she will now be encouraged to try crazier things…….I hope her kids do this stuff to her, I look forward to it!
I cannot pinpoint the exact time, but everything that I thought I ever knew about people, places or things went flying out the window roughly the same time I gave birth to my first child, but then again who knows. It seems ever since then, I have been constantly amazed at the daily adventures of my wonderful life!
For example, when Abby was about 5 years old she had gotten to where she liked makeup, all kinds of makeup. Makeup I didn’t even realize you could purchase unless you had some sort of connection through perhaps a Strippers/Hookers Local Union No. 7 or whatever resources they have at their disposal.
Either way, one Christmas, Abby requested that Santa bring her some makeup, and makeup he did bring! Ok, so I really got the makeup but she had gone from NOT believing in Santa to believing and she refused to listen when I told her there is no such thing as Santa. Whatever, I still like to believe that there will be funds in social security when I am ready to retire, so we each have our own little fantasy worlds don’t we?
The makeup that I purchased and so carefully placed under the tree had lots of goodies in it; lip glosses and lipsticks, eye shadows and nail polishes and lots of little pots of glitter. Glitter…….it didn’t really strike me as odd at the time because my oldest child had received little goody bags from past birthday parties that contained glitter gels and glitter wands. So you could strategically place glitter in you hair; for that festive look I guess?
Evidently Alex didn’t really “get into” the whole glitter thing because I do not remember the glitter phenomenon that was going on in our house at the time.
Now the glitter that I am talking about is not that stuff that comes in multiple colors that you find used in many childhood crafty sort of projects. No, this stuff is quite finely ground, and is what I perceive actual fairies must use in their day to day operations in Wonderland.
It all began when I went in Abby’s room to change the bed sheets and do some general tidying up. I didn’t notice it at first, but when I yanked the bottom sheet off of her bed I was surrounded by a cloud of glitter dust.
Now I know what it is like on the inside of one of those water globes that I used to collect. Talk about weird. In retrospect, I had made the comment to Ray the previous Saturday that I felt like we were living with Tinkerbelle, because every time Abby flew by me (she doesn’t really walk anywhere) I seemed to get covered with glitter. Well, it has now been confirmed!
After getting the sheets off of her bed and looking around at the fallout, there was glitter all over her floor, not a pile mind you, just a fine dusting of it. I hadn’t swept the house in three days and as I made my way around looking at everything I began to notice just how much glitter there was in the place. It's a good thing I have that HEPA filter deal on my vacuum! I couldn't decide if this is better or worse than her eyebrow escapade!
A couple of you have already heard about this, but one day after school I was sweeping up, (it is an endless job because most of our floors are wood).
As I walked past Abby's bedroom door, I saw out of the corner of my eye that she was standing on her bed reaching up to change the channel on her TV (she has an entertainment center built into the wall and the TV is placed up high, she must have misplaced the remote).
Well, she heard me coming down the hall and just as I got to her doorway, she turned around and said, “Hey, how do you like my eyebrows??!!!!!”
Dear Lord! Have you ever heard the term “Rooted to the Spot”, well I lived it. She looked just like Groucho Marx. She then proceeded to tell me how she had used a black marker to color them in. I couldn’t say anything but she was just sharp enough to realize that the look on my face was not a good one.
She said, don’t worry mommy, I used the marker that you write on the glass with, you know the dry erase marker. All I could think of was “She ain’t made of glass, I am going to have to shave her eyebrows off and scrub her face with a brillo pad.” “When are school pictures? Has the yearbook picture already been taken??!!!”
I think she realized I didn’t see what she saw in the mirror, so she proceeded to tell me, “Don’t worry it will come off, I used the wipe off marker.” Then she looked into the mirror on the wall and said to herself as much as to me, “Well….it should come off…….Let’s see if it comes off!!!!!!!!!” I said good idea, get a wet rag!
She ran and got one and proceeded to scrub her face. It came off, just like she planned. I really hate that since she will now be encouraged to try crazier things…….I hope her kids do this stuff to her, I look forward to it!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My House Is Spotless!
Do you every experience times when you have been so busy it seems like your not home for more than 5 minutes at a time the whole week? Well it has been like that for me the last three weeks.
I spent the first part of today at a ladies luncheon at our church, which was fabulous, and then came home to relax and just piddle around the rest of the day. In theory that sounded great, the reality of it, well it was just too depressing to imagine.
I come in my back door, a little tired but glad to be home and I had one of those moments you hear about in the bible. Do you know the one I'm talking about? The passage where it says "And the scales fell from his eyes". It was as if I had been blinded to just how yucky the house had gotten. Now I'm not talking food left out for days or anything, just clutter, clutter and more clutter.
I called my friend Debbie and asked her if the Good Fairy had come while she was at the Ladies Luncheon and cleaned her house, cause mine was the pits. She said no, and hers was so bad that her dad had commented on it.
That's always a fun experience. My dad once asked me on an unexpected visit to my house "Who died in this wreck?" Yeah, right dad, ha, ha.
Debbie told me that growing up, her mom always kept their house spotless. Spotless? Well, my house is spotless! I can't see an available spot anywhere that you could lay another thing down!!
Personally, I think Debbie is a great housekeeper. She even irons clothes! I either A.) Throw the wrinkled item in the dryer with a wet towel, or B.) Set my steam iron on high and shoot puffs of steam at my article of clothing while it still hangs on the hanger. The latter method works quite well, but if you are going to do this on a regular basis I suggest you purchase a fabric steamer designed for this.
For one, the iron gets really heavy holding it in one hand while you tug and smooth out the fabric with the other (hang your item on a door knob or hook, unless you have three arms, then, well, you get the picture). I have operated my iron, using this method for so long now it's starting to act a little quirky. There are alot of times now that the faceplate of the iron won't even get hot enough to iron with anymore....hmmmm, wonder if it's one of those use it or lose it situations....
Either way, ironing is just not one of my "things". Apparently, neither is picking up after myself! Well, I'm off to do The White Tornado!
I spent the first part of today at a ladies luncheon at our church, which was fabulous, and then came home to relax and just piddle around the rest of the day. In theory that sounded great, the reality of it, well it was just too depressing to imagine.
I come in my back door, a little tired but glad to be home and I had one of those moments you hear about in the bible. Do you know the one I'm talking about? The passage where it says "And the scales fell from his eyes". It was as if I had been blinded to just how yucky the house had gotten. Now I'm not talking food left out for days or anything, just clutter, clutter and more clutter.
I called my friend Debbie and asked her if the Good Fairy had come while she was at the Ladies Luncheon and cleaned her house, cause mine was the pits. She said no, and hers was so bad that her dad had commented on it.
That's always a fun experience. My dad once asked me on an unexpected visit to my house "Who died in this wreck?" Yeah, right dad, ha, ha.
Debbie told me that growing up, her mom always kept their house spotless. Spotless? Well, my house is spotless! I can't see an available spot anywhere that you could lay another thing down!!
Personally, I think Debbie is a great housekeeper. She even irons clothes! I either A.) Throw the wrinkled item in the dryer with a wet towel, or B.) Set my steam iron on high and shoot puffs of steam at my article of clothing while it still hangs on the hanger. The latter method works quite well, but if you are going to do this on a regular basis I suggest you purchase a fabric steamer designed for this.
For one, the iron gets really heavy holding it in one hand while you tug and smooth out the fabric with the other (hang your item on a door knob or hook, unless you have three arms, then, well, you get the picture). I have operated my iron, using this method for so long now it's starting to act a little quirky. There are alot of times now that the faceplate of the iron won't even get hot enough to iron with anymore....hmmmm, wonder if it's one of those use it or lose it situations....
Either way, ironing is just not one of my "things". Apparently, neither is picking up after myself! Well, I'm off to do The White Tornado!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Why Can't We All Just Get Along and Believe In Santa Claus?
My oldest daughter Alex has always enjoyed fantasy more than reality. She was only 3 when she first started playing with Barbies; which seemed really young to me at the time.
Apparently there are alot of younger children these days enamored with this icon of fashion. I never liked them, but she and her friends would play pretend for hours with these dolls.
I always found them too hard to dress, but a wise girl once told me that all you had to do was get them all dressed and then just change their heads around---Sheer genius! But let's not diverge.....
Apparently during one of these play dates her best friend, Danielle, decided to educate Alex on some of the realities of life. This particular day's lesson was: Santa Clause, Fact or Fiction?
I was still feeling kinda new at the parenting thing, (somehow I think I will always feel that way since it seems to be a constantly evolving process) so it didn't really occur to me that kids would be having such heavy discussions. I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall!
I found out about this little debate between friends several days later in the car. Alex and I were alone and she pipes up from the back seat saying; Momma, Danielle says that Santa Claus isn't real, is he real?
When she asked that question, I heard that sound you hear on tv, you know the one, where the needle is scratching across the record? Yep, that's the sound I heard.
Ok, real, real, is Santa Claus real......Well, Alex, why doesn't she think he is real? There we go answer a question with a question!
Alex: She says that if it isn't in the bible then it isn't real, I don't remember ever seeing anything about Santa in the bible. Is he?
Me: That's a very good point Alex, Santa is not in the bible, but then again neither am I, and I'm pretty sure I'm real.
HA! I got her on that one, victory is just around the corner, and I have avoided the answer!
Alex: Mooooooommmmmm. Seriously, is he real?
Good grief, she is only seven, what is wrong with believing in something so completely fantastic as a little man who flies around the world, in a sleigh, led by tiny reindeer, to deliver toys made by little elves throughout the preceding months, then given to good little boys and girls on one fantastic night of the year?
Ok, when you put it like that it does sound a little out there........
Anyway, I look at her through the rearview mirror and confess the lie her father and I had been telling her all her life, one of many, she was to soon find out. (Or in my opinion too soon to find out.)
She mulls over my confession and says, So the Barbie dream house was from you? Yep. The baby doll and stroller? From me and dad. The stuff in my stocking? Us again, we've been found out.
She sits there silently for a minute and then says; What about the Tooth Fairy?
I don't even look at her in the mirror, I just cheerfully sing out "Made It Up!" She throws her hands up in the air and says "Man!"
I really hated that the fantasy could not go on longer. It is this innocence of childhood that I wish children could hang onto, at least through their middle school years. There will be plenty of time when they are grown to deal with reality.
Her sister was just a baby at the time, so I told her now that she knew the truth, she could help us play Santa to her little sister, but it was not her place to educate her sister or anyone else for that matter with the truth about St. Nick. She agreed to keep the truth to herself, and was very excited about the upcoming role she would get to play come December.
Yesterday, Ray said Abby had him trapped in the truck and said, Daddy, I want to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth!
Ha! You will never guess what it was; Santa Claus---Tee Hee! As soon as I get the blow by blow from Ray, I will report back.......
Peace Out
Apparently there are alot of younger children these days enamored with this icon of fashion. I never liked them, but she and her friends would play pretend for hours with these dolls.
I always found them too hard to dress, but a wise girl once told me that all you had to do was get them all dressed and then just change their heads around---Sheer genius! But let's not diverge.....
Apparently during one of these play dates her best friend, Danielle, decided to educate Alex on some of the realities of life. This particular day's lesson was: Santa Clause, Fact or Fiction?
I was still feeling kinda new at the parenting thing, (somehow I think I will always feel that way since it seems to be a constantly evolving process) so it didn't really occur to me that kids would be having such heavy discussions. I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall!
I found out about this little debate between friends several days later in the car. Alex and I were alone and she pipes up from the back seat saying; Momma, Danielle says that Santa Claus isn't real, is he real?
When she asked that question, I heard that sound you hear on tv, you know the one, where the needle is scratching across the record? Yep, that's the sound I heard.
Ok, real, real, is Santa Claus real......Well, Alex, why doesn't she think he is real? There we go answer a question with a question!
Alex: She says that if it isn't in the bible then it isn't real, I don't remember ever seeing anything about Santa in the bible. Is he?
Me: That's a very good point Alex, Santa is not in the bible, but then again neither am I, and I'm pretty sure I'm real.
HA! I got her on that one, victory is just around the corner, and I have avoided the answer!
Alex: Mooooooommmmmm. Seriously, is he real?
Good grief, she is only seven, what is wrong with believing in something so completely fantastic as a little man who flies around the world, in a sleigh, led by tiny reindeer, to deliver toys made by little elves throughout the preceding months, then given to good little boys and girls on one fantastic night of the year?
Ok, when you put it like that it does sound a little out there........
Anyway, I look at her through the rearview mirror and confess the lie her father and I had been telling her all her life, one of many, she was to soon find out. (Or in my opinion too soon to find out.)
She mulls over my confession and says, So the Barbie dream house was from you? Yep. The baby doll and stroller? From me and dad. The stuff in my stocking? Us again, we've been found out.
She sits there silently for a minute and then says; What about the Tooth Fairy?
I don't even look at her in the mirror, I just cheerfully sing out "Made It Up!" She throws her hands up in the air and says "Man!"
I really hated that the fantasy could not go on longer. It is this innocence of childhood that I wish children could hang onto, at least through their middle school years. There will be plenty of time when they are grown to deal with reality.
Her sister was just a baby at the time, so I told her now that she knew the truth, she could help us play Santa to her little sister, but it was not her place to educate her sister or anyone else for that matter with the truth about St. Nick. She agreed to keep the truth to herself, and was very excited about the upcoming role she would get to play come December.
Yesterday, Ray said Abby had him trapped in the truck and said, Daddy, I want to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth!
Ha! You will never guess what it was; Santa Claus---Tee Hee! As soon as I get the blow by blow from Ray, I will report back.......
Peace Out
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The Nut Didn't Fall Far From The Tree
It has been too long since I last posted! So many things have happened, life is such a whirwind sometimes. Where shall I begin?
Let's see....on Aprils Fools Day, my wonderful husband got up and took the kids to school for me so I could languish in the bed a little longer. (Looking back, it makes me wonder if he was in on it.)
I get up a little bit after they leave the house and go into the kitchen to make coffee. I put the pot under the faucet and prop myself up with the counter as I stand there half asleep. As I turn the water on I'm jerked awake with a blast of water to the chest. I have the old fashioned black plastic sprayer beside the faucet on my sink, Alex had taken a black rubber band and fixed the handle so that it was stuck in the on position.
I turn on the water, it bypasses the faucet and gives me a shower! Talk about waking up fast. I was so startled that I stepped to the side to try and figure out what the heck is going on. I'm not very consistent with which side of the sink I turn on either, somedays it's the hot water, somedays it's the cold.
So there I was dancing off to the side turning the cold water side just to discover it was the hot that I had turned on today. Meanwhile the dog who was across the room minding her own business and happily crunching away on her doggie kibble gets smacked in the rear end with a stream of water.
At this point the shock has worn off, I'm laughing the dog is sulking and I'm thinking, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It didn't take me long to figure out who it was, I knew that Abby could think it up, but not necessarily know how to execute the plan, that left Alex who was very capable of both and had just enough of me in her to do it. I called her on her cell and sure enough she answered the phone laughing. What a terd.
That was the best part of the whole day. The worst? I got so busy I didn't get a chance to prank her back! That's ok, I don't need one day out of the year to pull my pranks, all I need is some grape Kool-Aid and the chance to get the shower head off of her shower and back on when she is not around, Tee Hee!
Let's see....on Aprils Fools Day, my wonderful husband got up and took the kids to school for me so I could languish in the bed a little longer. (Looking back, it makes me wonder if he was in on it.)
I get up a little bit after they leave the house and go into the kitchen to make coffee. I put the pot under the faucet and prop myself up with the counter as I stand there half asleep. As I turn the water on I'm jerked awake with a blast of water to the chest. I have the old fashioned black plastic sprayer beside the faucet on my sink, Alex had taken a black rubber band and fixed the handle so that it was stuck in the on position.
I turn on the water, it bypasses the faucet and gives me a shower! Talk about waking up fast. I was so startled that I stepped to the side to try and figure out what the heck is going on. I'm not very consistent with which side of the sink I turn on either, somedays it's the hot water, somedays it's the cold.
So there I was dancing off to the side turning the cold water side just to discover it was the hot that I had turned on today. Meanwhile the dog who was across the room minding her own business and happily crunching away on her doggie kibble gets smacked in the rear end with a stream of water.
At this point the shock has worn off, I'm laughing the dog is sulking and I'm thinking, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It didn't take me long to figure out who it was, I knew that Abby could think it up, but not necessarily know how to execute the plan, that left Alex who was very capable of both and had just enough of me in her to do it. I called her on her cell and sure enough she answered the phone laughing. What a terd.
That was the best part of the whole day. The worst? I got so busy I didn't get a chance to prank her back! That's ok, I don't need one day out of the year to pull my pranks, all I need is some grape Kool-Aid and the chance to get the shower head off of her shower and back on when she is not around, Tee Hee!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Your Majesty
The older I get, the greater the reality that one day soon I will become a grandmother. I can remember a time not too long ago when I first got pregnant, a co-worker marveled at the fact I would very soon be someone’s mother. Come to think of it, there are days when I am sure my own children marvel at the very same thing!
Grandchildren, I can’t even picture it. I do look forward to it though! Just the other day my oldest daughter Alex asked what I want to be called when I eventually do have grandchildren.
Hmmmmm, what to be called, what to be called. How fun, not something too grannyish of course. Not that there is anything wrong with being a granny, but I have always reserved that honorable title for my great-grandmother. Right now I am just contemplating first generation grandmother hood.
At first I told Alex that I thought “Your Highness” would be nice, and perhaps they could call your dad, “Pop Pop”. She laughed and said, “Your Highness and Pop Pop? You do realize how kids mispronounce things all the time? They will be calling you, “Your Hiney and Pop Pop in no time!” The girl had a point! Your Hiney will never do!!
So after much consideration I have determined that if at all possible, my beloved grandchildren will be referring to us as “Your Majesty and Pop Pop.” Regal huh?! Yeah, I think I will like that much better than Nana.
Now all I need is a tiara to wear to the hospital……
Grandchildren, I can’t even picture it. I do look forward to it though! Just the other day my oldest daughter Alex asked what I want to be called when I eventually do have grandchildren.
Hmmmmm, what to be called, what to be called. How fun, not something too grannyish of course. Not that there is anything wrong with being a granny, but I have always reserved that honorable title for my great-grandmother. Right now I am just contemplating first generation grandmother hood.
At first I told Alex that I thought “Your Highness” would be nice, and perhaps they could call your dad, “Pop Pop”. She laughed and said, “Your Highness and Pop Pop? You do realize how kids mispronounce things all the time? They will be calling you, “Your Hiney and Pop Pop in no time!” The girl had a point! Your Hiney will never do!!
So after much consideration I have determined that if at all possible, my beloved grandchildren will be referring to us as “Your Majesty and Pop Pop.” Regal huh?! Yeah, I think I will like that much better than Nana.
Now all I need is a tiara to wear to the hospital……
Why Is It...........
Why is it an eight year old can intentionally swallow a wad of bubble gum the size of a blue birds egg but not a junior size pain reliever tablet?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Traditonal Anniversary Gifts for the Teenage Couple
Sunday evening my daughter Alex announced that on March 17 she and her boyfriend would be celebrating a milestone in their couplehood. The famous One Year anniversary. A whole year....that really is something. She doesn't usually care for the same hairstyle for more than 3 months.
She continued on with her thought and said, I know when it comes to wedding anniversaries that year 10 has a gift suggestion of tin. That is when Abby chimes in and says so "Year number 9 your supposed to give wine?"
After we finished laughing and got ourselves back on track I told Alex I wasn't quite sure what the Traditional Anniversary Gift List for Teenagers was but I was sure I could come up with something.
It has taken me a couple of days, but is now complete. If there are any additional gift suggestions that would better suit the month, by all means send your suggestion in so that the list can be altered!!
She continued on with her thought and said, I know when it comes to wedding anniversaries that year 10 has a gift suggestion of tin. That is when Abby chimes in and says so "Year number 9 your supposed to give wine?"
After we finished laughing and got ourselves back on track I told Alex I wasn't quite sure what the Traditional Anniversary Gift List for Teenagers was but I was sure I could come up with something.
It has taken me a couple of days, but is now complete. If there are any additional gift suggestions that would better suit the month, by all means send your suggestion in so that the list can be altered!!
Traditional Anniversary Gifts By The Month For Teenage Couples
Month 1: Cardboard
Gift Suggestion: A nice card from Hallmark to let her know you were thinking of her.
Month 2: Music
Gift Suggestion: Download a ring tone that is “Your Song”.
Month 3: Styrofoam
Gift Suggestion: Bring her favorite drink to her from Chic -Fil- A.
Month 4: Fiber Fill
Gift Suggestion: Cute Teddy Bear or some other silly stuffed animal.
Month 5: Cotton
Gift Suggestion: Give her one of your favorite old T-Shirts, she is gonna end up swiping it from you anyway.
Month 6: Helium
Gift Suggestion: Balloon Bouquet.
Month 7: Popcorn
Gift Suggestion: Cheap-skate: Rent a Movie. Stud: Take her to the theater.
Month 8: Sugar
Gift Suggestion: Buy her favorite candy.
Month 9: Kodak
Gift Suggestion: Disposable Camera for lot’s of cutsie pics of you two lovebirds.
Month 10: Pottery
Gift Suggestion: Chia Pet or some similar token to remind her how cute you are even though you are not with her but at your best buds house at the moment.
Month 11: Nickel
Gift Suggestion: Mood Ring to help determine what “I’m Fine” really means.
Month 12: Glass
Gift Suggestion: Costume Jewelry, perhaps some nice dia-mel earrings.
Month 1: Cardboard
Gift Suggestion: A nice card from Hallmark to let her know you were thinking of her.
Month 2: Music
Gift Suggestion: Download a ring tone that is “Your Song”.
Month 3: Styrofoam
Gift Suggestion: Bring her favorite drink to her from Chic -Fil- A.
Month 4: Fiber Fill
Gift Suggestion: Cute Teddy Bear or some other silly stuffed animal.
Month 5: Cotton
Gift Suggestion: Give her one of your favorite old T-Shirts, she is gonna end up swiping it from you anyway.
Month 6: Helium
Gift Suggestion: Balloon Bouquet.
Month 7: Popcorn
Gift Suggestion: Cheap-skate: Rent a Movie. Stud: Take her to the theater.
Month 8: Sugar
Gift Suggestion: Buy her favorite candy.
Month 9: Kodak
Gift Suggestion: Disposable Camera for lot’s of cutsie pics of you two lovebirds.
Month 10: Pottery
Gift Suggestion: Chia Pet or some similar token to remind her how cute you are even though you are not with her but at your best buds house at the moment.
Month 11: Nickel
Gift Suggestion: Mood Ring to help determine what “I’m Fine” really means.
Month 12: Glass
Gift Suggestion: Costume Jewelry, perhaps some nice dia-mel earrings.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Annetteapalooza 2008
This years Annetteapallooza has been great! I didn't think we would be able to surpass last year, but by George we did it!!!!!
I do have to admit though, I am glad my actual Birthday has finally arrived and it is now officially over. It really doesn't matter that I admit this, as no one will really believe me. It is true that I love celebrating my birthday...almost as much as I love everyone else celebrating my birthday! If you know me at all you know my motto: "Shop Early, Buy Often, Well Wishes and All Monetary Gifts Accepted Through the 31st."
Obnoxious, isn't it?! Well, someone has to do it, it may as well be me. I have proudly worn the Birthday Princess crown and graciously received all the accolade's that accompany this wonderful fashion accessory!
I must confess that I need to pack the crown away until next year because along with all of the free desserts that have been given in recognition of my claim to fame, my waistline is expanding to almost the same size of my over-inflated expectations of what a birthday celebration should truly be.
Today at lunch when I heard the clapping begin in the far corner of the Longhorn's, I thought to myself, "Perhaps they should just stick a candle in a side salad as I am having difficulties squeezing into my clothes since the pallooza has been going on. " I am sure worse things could be happening....
A special thank you to everyone for making my day (month), truly special, you know who you are and I love you all! If I were Queen of the World, I would make sure that everyone had wonderful celebrations just like this for their birthdays!
While we are all in a celebatory mood let's not forget the one celebration that makes all others pale in comparison: The Easter Celebration; without Christ's death and resurrection there would indeed be nothing to look forward to!
Peace and Love to you all.
Annette
Friday, March 7, 2008
They Do More Than Just Hum You Know!
I love this time of year! The tree's are starting to bud and flowers are starting to peek through the ground. Soon the hummingbirds will be migrating back to our part of the state and that I have to say is something I look forward to every year.
I have planted a vine that intertwines my entire front porch and is covered in a red trumpet looking flower. The hummingbirds love it and will actually hover right in front of your face while you sit there watching them. It is an awesome sight to behold!
I will never forget last year when my husband commented that there was a hummingbird flying around back at the patio doors. I said that is odd; there is nothing back there to attract hummingbirds. No feeders or colorful plantings, nothing at all really. We both moved on and I thought nothing else about it.
A couple of days later Abby, who was eight at the time, yelled excitedly, “Mommy there is a hummingbird around back near the patio!” Again! I thought to myself. So I said to her, “Really, a hummingbird, wonder what it’s doing back there?” She looked at me with disgust in her eyes and said “Well, they do more than just hum you know!
Such a profound statement from such a little girl. I have to tell you that smarted when she said that. It also got me tickled and I wanted to say, "Well ok Miss Smarty Pants, what else do they do??? " For that matter they don’t hum, that is just the sound that their wings make because they are beating so fast, so there!
After a small amount of research on the internet my suspicions were confirmed and the main purpose of the hummingbird is the pollination of plants. They also eat insects such as mosquitoes and other insects as well.
The crazy thing is they have to consume quite a large amount of nectar every day (twice their body weight) to meet the demands of their body or they could die in a matter of hours.
Hmmmm, or should I say Hummmmm? Those pretty little creatures are living the life that most eight year old children would love, consuming twice their body weight in sweets every day!!
I have planted a vine that intertwines my entire front porch and is covered in a red trumpet looking flower. The hummingbirds love it and will actually hover right in front of your face while you sit there watching them. It is an awesome sight to behold!
I will never forget last year when my husband commented that there was a hummingbird flying around back at the patio doors. I said that is odd; there is nothing back there to attract hummingbirds. No feeders or colorful plantings, nothing at all really. We both moved on and I thought nothing else about it.
A couple of days later Abby, who was eight at the time, yelled excitedly, “Mommy there is a hummingbird around back near the patio!” Again! I thought to myself. So I said to her, “Really, a hummingbird, wonder what it’s doing back there?” She looked at me with disgust in her eyes and said “Well, they do more than just hum you know!
Such a profound statement from such a little girl. I have to tell you that smarted when she said that. It also got me tickled and I wanted to say, "Well ok Miss Smarty Pants, what else do they do??? " For that matter they don’t hum, that is just the sound that their wings make because they are beating so fast, so there!
After a small amount of research on the internet my suspicions were confirmed and the main purpose of the hummingbird is the pollination of plants. They also eat insects such as mosquitoes and other insects as well.
The crazy thing is they have to consume quite a large amount of nectar every day (twice their body weight) to meet the demands of their body or they could die in a matter of hours.
Hmmmm, or should I say Hummmmm? Those pretty little creatures are living the life that most eight year old children would love, consuming twice their body weight in sweets every day!!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Battle of the Clean Room
I’ve heard parents say in my BC days (Before Children) “Battles between parent and child should be picked wisely, otherwise you find yourselves in a constant uproar over every little thing”.
Sounded like sound advice at the time, but in fact it was a rather sophisticated way of saying "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired." It is during times like this when I feel I have left the raising of my children to themselves, especially when it comes to their rooms.
I try to give them a little space and have even gone so far as to let them be the judge of how often to pick up as long as it doesn't spill over into the rest of the house. The big rule around here in regards to the bedroom is; "Cut a trail to the bed in the event we need to rescue you from a fire in the middle of the night."
Not asking much are we? Yesterday, in our home we had the battle of the clean room. Just what exactly is clean? I have come to the conclusion that the word clean means something entirely different to me than it does to my children. In fact, I am certain of it because I have the only 9 year old in the history of mankind that can stand in a shower for 45 minutes, have squeaky clean hair, and still come out with chocolate ice-cream smudges on her face! Go figure.
I like to believe that I am a patient person and that is why I give my children the deadline of "You have 3 days" when I get into my "You need to clean your room mode". It's not that I am patient, I just live in a dream world.
During the deadline period in which my kids are supposed to be shoveling out their rooms, I am secretly hoping that the Lord will call us all home. I have always heard that cleanliness is next to Godliness. If that's the case then my kids are on a wild ride in the proverbial hand-basket headed “south” at this very moment!
What spurred on this tirade? Well, it was Abby's room. She couldn't seem to get it cleaned up. I was ready to vacuum her room and had plans to clean carpets. I finally uttered the dreaded words that strikes fear in the hearts of my children and said, "Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up."
My kids hate when I say that because what it really means is Kiss all your junk goodbye, I'm tired of picking it up and I'm throwing it all away. The real kicker is they are not allowed to be present when I clean their rooms. All they ever see is me, emerging from behind their bedroom doors with Hefty Lawn and Trash bags bursting at the seams and ready for the can outside. What a power trip!
Today, as I was cleaning out Abby's room many thoughts ran through my mind......What's that smell?.......Where did all these sunflower seed shells come from?.......We pick up way too much fast food, look at all these happy meal toys......What's that smell?.......Why are there scuba flippers in the sock drawer?....WHAT'S THAT SMELL?????
If anything good has come from this little adventure, it is the fact that I can now contact the EPA and let them know that a very important natural resource has been overlook for far too long. What would that be you ask? My friends that would be the dried banana peel.
Now this was not the entire banana peel I discovered, just a strip of it. At first I wasn't even sure what it was. After all, underneath her bed was rather dark and I was afraid the dust bunnies were rabid, and this "thing" was just out of my reach. I pushed myself forward with my toes while sliding underneath her bed on my stomach and THERE! I got it! What is this thing?
Upon closer examination in the much brighter light by the window, I discovered it was the aforementioned piece of banana peel. Strong as iron, brown as beautifully cured leather.
Perhaps it could be made into the soles of shoes for some Third World Country? Either way, it’s these little discoveries that make the whole thing worthwhile.
Oh yeah, that smell......a wet bathing suit left to cure in a plastic grocery bag after a trip to the aquatic center last week.
Sounded like sound advice at the time, but in fact it was a rather sophisticated way of saying "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired." It is during times like this when I feel I have left the raising of my children to themselves, especially when it comes to their rooms.
I try to give them a little space and have even gone so far as to let them be the judge of how often to pick up as long as it doesn't spill over into the rest of the house. The big rule around here in regards to the bedroom is; "Cut a trail to the bed in the event we need to rescue you from a fire in the middle of the night."
Not asking much are we? Yesterday, in our home we had the battle of the clean room. Just what exactly is clean? I have come to the conclusion that the word clean means something entirely different to me than it does to my children. In fact, I am certain of it because I have the only 9 year old in the history of mankind that can stand in a shower for 45 minutes, have squeaky clean hair, and still come out with chocolate ice-cream smudges on her face! Go figure.
I like to believe that I am a patient person and that is why I give my children the deadline of "You have 3 days" when I get into my "You need to clean your room mode". It's not that I am patient, I just live in a dream world.
During the deadline period in which my kids are supposed to be shoveling out their rooms, I am secretly hoping that the Lord will call us all home. I have always heard that cleanliness is next to Godliness. If that's the case then my kids are on a wild ride in the proverbial hand-basket headed “south” at this very moment!
What spurred on this tirade? Well, it was Abby's room. She couldn't seem to get it cleaned up. I was ready to vacuum her room and had plans to clean carpets. I finally uttered the dreaded words that strikes fear in the hearts of my children and said, "Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up."
My kids hate when I say that because what it really means is Kiss all your junk goodbye, I'm tired of picking it up and I'm throwing it all away. The real kicker is they are not allowed to be present when I clean their rooms. All they ever see is me, emerging from behind their bedroom doors with Hefty Lawn and Trash bags bursting at the seams and ready for the can outside. What a power trip!
Today, as I was cleaning out Abby's room many thoughts ran through my mind......What's that smell?.......Where did all these sunflower seed shells come from?.......We pick up way too much fast food, look at all these happy meal toys......What's that smell?.......Why are there scuba flippers in the sock drawer?....WHAT'S THAT SMELL?????
If anything good has come from this little adventure, it is the fact that I can now contact the EPA and let them know that a very important natural resource has been overlook for far too long. What would that be you ask? My friends that would be the dried banana peel.
Now this was not the entire banana peel I discovered, just a strip of it. At first I wasn't even sure what it was. After all, underneath her bed was rather dark and I was afraid the dust bunnies were rabid, and this "thing" was just out of my reach. I pushed myself forward with my toes while sliding underneath her bed on my stomach and THERE! I got it! What is this thing?
Upon closer examination in the much brighter light by the window, I discovered it was the aforementioned piece of banana peel. Strong as iron, brown as beautifully cured leather.
Perhaps it could be made into the soles of shoes for some Third World Country? Either way, it’s these little discoveries that make the whole thing worthwhile.
Oh yeah, that smell......a wet bathing suit left to cure in a plastic grocery bag after a trip to the aquatic center last week.
People And Their Little Dogs
People are crazy about their pets, especially the little pocket pets you can carry around with you. Our little CheeWaWa, BB loves going for rides in the car, so when my teenager Alex asked if she could go along for the ride to school, I thought "Sure, why not".
We started this little adventure in the middle of the previous week and I have to tell you, by day 5 it was starting to get a little old! I need to be at least 4 inches taller since BB’s favorite place to ride was standing up in my lap, on her hind legs with her front paws on the steering wheel. My best guess is she had adopted this stance to better help her maneuver us along the winding road to the school.
She has a very small head, but it is just large enough that I was now viewing the outside world from between two ears that look like they belong to a vampire bat. It was also bothering me that I could no longer take my cup of coffee with me because that would require my growing a third arm.
The day that marked her last ride to school was when BB suddenly became excited at seeing the kids walking along the sidewalks. Up until this point she had remained calm on these little jaunts, almost to the point of boredom. Not today!
She started barking and leaping up and down with her front paws on the center of the steering wheel. She was doing her level best to announce her arrival and as luck would have it, she was hitting just the right spot to make the horn blow. (Wonder why a six pound dog can honk a horn without even trying and I could bang my entire head against it when I need it to blow and can’t get a peep out of it?)
Once the horn started honking, BB got really irritated and started barking at whoever the rude person was making such a loud commotion! Our car became quite the spectacle and my daughter, Alex, got a huge laugh out of leaving me there at the back of a long line of cars with a half crazed dog doing her best to escape the confines of our car and attack whoever was honking at her.
I'm pretty sure that I will get the last laugh though. Alex is now 16 and wants to date. I'm thinking that Abby will make the perfect little chaperone to tag along with Alex and her boyfriend when the situation arises, and I am oh so certain it will be soon!
Cheese In My Hair
Was there a recall on my child that I missed? Some days I wonder what little postcard from heaven did I not receive because our mail has been missboxed...AGAIN...but that is a story for another day.
For the first time in a very long time my husband and I were able to sleep in on a Saturday. Probably would have been better if I had gone on and gotten up. My 9-year old, Abby, had been up for hours and was out in the kitchen giving our dog BB (Big Bertha) her medicine when she ran into a little snag. It seems that some of the cheese she had been using to wrap the dog's pill in had somehow gotten into her hair.
She came into the doorway of the master bedroom to tell me she had gotten a little bit of cheese in her hair. I'm half asleep so I mumble just get a wipee and try to get it out with that, when I get up I will wash your hair and get out what you miss. Before I can even get the word "wipee" out of my mouth, she proceeds to tell me she has already tried to wipe it out and it wouldn't come out, so she just cut it off with the scissors.
You know the average parent would probably come flying out bed at the words hair, scissors and cut it off all uttered by their child in the same sentence. I have come to realize that I am not the average parent and my children are not average either. They tend to fluctuate between being complete morons to extreme geniuses at any given moment in time. Average they are not.
Now where were we... oh yeah, she says she has cut the offending cheese out of her hair and my mind is working overtime thinking well her hair needed trimming anyway, I'll just even it up with the scissors after I wash her hair. Well, in a perfect world that would work out just fine, but we don't live in a perfect world now do we?!
Abby has successfully roused both my husband and I out of our perfect slumber with her little hair dialogue so we give up and get up. Abby's hair is longish, it falls just below her shoulders so I am picturing she has gotten the cheese in the ends of her hair, kinda like when she eats and her hair falls forward into her plate. Not So!
I go into the kitchen to get the coffee maker going and to get the broom so I can sweep up any stray hairs that may be on the floor when my eyes zero in on the top of my child's head. She is now sporting a miniature mohawk that is about two inches in length and an inch in height on the very top of her head.
Apparently she is convinced that I can do anything because as she calmly chews her mouthful of cereal she says to me "Say momma, how are you gonna fix this?" I could actually hear the cartoon Ooga Horn as my eyes shot three feet out of my head! I'm thinking, "Fix it?! Yeah good luck with that!" I told her I wasn't exactly sure what I would have to do, but I would try to think of something.
She must have seen the look of uncertainty on my face because she suggested we put some hairspray on it. I asked her "Why, do you want it to stand up nice and straight instead of waving in the wind like it is now?"
She didn't seem to appreciate my sense of humor.
I told her not to worry, we would try to disguise it somehow. If we couldn't, I told her not to fret over it too much, she wouldn't even notice it unless she looked in the mirror. I could tell by the look she gave me that time she didn't like that comment either.
She went back to eating her cereal and then pointed to a pile of papers from her bookbag and said, "I forgot to give these to you yesterday. You need to fill that form out, we are having school pictures made next Friday."
Greatttttt......you couldn't just wash the cheese out now could you, it made much more sense to cut it out......You really should know, this is just one day in the life of the Martin home. Alot of times the only thing that changes around here is the day of the week and I sure feel like I spend an awful lot of time with cheese in my hair.......
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