Ok, you can't make this stuff up, here's another from the police blotter on February 3, 2010:
Kingsport, Tenn.---- It was a Zinger of a theft in Tennessee. It also included cupcakes, Twinkies and other snack cakes from the Merita Bread Company.
The Kingsport Times-News cites a report from the Sullivan County Sheriff's Office in reporting 34-year-old James M Denoon (which rhymes with Macroon) and 18-year-old Anthony Stout were found hiding under a truck at the bakery late Friday night.
The deputies found about $300 worth of stolen snack cakes stacked on the ground nearby. Finding the accused thieves was easy. The deputies only had to follow their footprints. There was more than an inch of snow on the ground by Friday night.
Denoon and Stout were charged with theft under $500 and two counts of auto burglary. It was not immediately clear if they had attorneys.
Where to begin.....how funny is it that a guy named Stout was caught stealing snack cakes! What were they thinking? I have to believe they musta been smoking weed and all of a sudden got the munchies. There is really no other explanation. I can see them now, sitting in bean bag chairs over at Denoon's house getting high (what a bafoon). Why Denoon? He was the older one, stands to reason it would be his house. Stout says, "Man I could sure eat a boat load of twinkies right about now. That is when they determine it's best to rob wholesale and skip retail shoplifting all together.
At the bakery they must have set of an alarm of some sort for deputies--plural to have found them. (Otherwise, it would have probably been a night watchman situation and these two goons are just dumb enough to tie him up and take him with them.) Here again is where I am certain they must have been high on something, for them to believe that they were completely concealed underneath the truck they chose to scooch under. Their legs were probably sticking out. Can't you just see them under there, giggling and shushing each other?
What I don't understand is the two counts of auto burglary. Were they not found underneath the vehicle? The snack cakes were found on the ground nearby, not inside. I am certain their intent was to take the vehicle as schlepping $300 worth of twinkies home in the snow is gonna look a little suspicious not to mention also inconvenient.
While it is not immediately clear if they had attorneys, it is apparent they possess no brains!
Lesson Learned:
#1 DON'T DO DRUGS! OR ALLEGEDLY BREAK INTO A BAKERY OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.....
#2 If you have the time to walk up the road, in the snow, break into a twinkie factory and then stack a boatload of snack cakes in a parking lot while you decide which vehicle you are going to commandeer, well my friend you gots time to make a nanner samich back at the house!
Over and out!
Kingsport, Tenn.---- It was a Zinger of a theft in Tennessee. It also included cupcakes, Twinkies and other snack cakes from the Merita Bread Company.
The Kingsport Times-News cites a report from the Sullivan County Sheriff's Office in reporting 34-year-old James M Denoon (which rhymes with Macroon) and 18-year-old Anthony Stout were found hiding under a truck at the bakery late Friday night.
The deputies found about $300 worth of stolen snack cakes stacked on the ground nearby. Finding the accused thieves was easy. The deputies only had to follow their footprints. There was more than an inch of snow on the ground by Friday night.
Denoon and Stout were charged with theft under $500 and two counts of auto burglary. It was not immediately clear if they had attorneys.
Where to begin.....how funny is it that a guy named Stout was caught stealing snack cakes! What were they thinking? I have to believe they musta been smoking weed and all of a sudden got the munchies. There is really no other explanation. I can see them now, sitting in bean bag chairs over at Denoon's house getting high (what a bafoon). Why Denoon? He was the older one, stands to reason it would be his house. Stout says, "Man I could sure eat a boat load of twinkies right about now. That is when they determine it's best to rob wholesale and skip retail shoplifting all together.
At the bakery they must have set of an alarm of some sort for deputies--plural to have found them. (Otherwise, it would have probably been a night watchman situation and these two goons are just dumb enough to tie him up and take him with them.) Here again is where I am certain they must have been high on something, for them to believe that they were completely concealed underneath the truck they chose to scooch under. Their legs were probably sticking out. Can't you just see them under there, giggling and shushing each other?
What I don't understand is the two counts of auto burglary. Were they not found underneath the vehicle? The snack cakes were found on the ground nearby, not inside. I am certain their intent was to take the vehicle as schlepping $300 worth of twinkies home in the snow is gonna look a little suspicious not to mention also inconvenient.
While it is not immediately clear if they had attorneys, it is apparent they possess no brains!
Lesson Learned:
#1 DON'T DO DRUGS! OR ALLEGEDLY BREAK INTO A BAKERY OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.....
#2 If you have the time to walk up the road, in the snow, break into a twinkie factory and then stack a boatload of snack cakes in a parking lot while you decide which vehicle you are going to commandeer, well my friend you gots time to make a nanner samich back at the house!
Over and out!
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