I was born and raised in the south and can still remember when a wake was still held at home. My great-uncles' is the last one I remember being that way. He was laid out in the dining room with the family all around. He had in fact passed away at home as well. Having attended funerals from a very young age, it has never been an uncomfortable experience for me as it is for some.
Ray and I did our best to start taking Alex to the funeral home when she was very young as well. The first couple of times, we took her to the viewing of people she didn’t know that well. This helped her to become familiar with what to expect and to show her that death is very natural and we will all experience it one day. Or so we thought.
When Alex was about four, we were at a visitation that was being held for a friend’s mother. Alex had slipped away from my side and I didn’t notice she had wandered off. Turns out she had gone back into the room where the deceased was lying in state. No one else was in the room at the time and Alex had decided to drag a chair over and get a closer look. When I found her, she had the chair right up against the casket and was up on her knees and had her elbows resting on the edge and her chin resting on her hands gazing down at the woman.
I made a small noise so I wouldn’t startle her and she turned and said. “Why doesn’t she wake up? Everybody is sooo noisy, can’t she hear them?” I said, “Well no, she’s dead Alex.” Her eyes got as big as saucers and she flew out of that chair! All this time I thought she understood what it meant to go to the funeral home! I guess we had never pointed out that particular detail before.
As I listen to the older members of our family talk about what they would like when their time comes it makes me think about what type of celebration I would like to have at my passing. Yes, celebration. I know where I am spending eternity and I intend to live what’s left of my life to the fullest, so how could it be anything else? I have already told my children I plan to spend their inheritance while I am alive, so don’t expect to get anything. If there is any money, well, they can get it the old fashioned way; through litigation.
Me, what do I want? I used to want a huge funeral, with a horse drawn hearse, plumes included, and dozens of wailing mourners walking in the streets. Ray said he didn’t think he could afford to pay that many people to cry at my funeral. I said ok, how about I get cremated, divide the ashes amongst the people that meant the most to me, then each one could distribute them in a way they saw befitting of our friendship. He then commented that toilets all across the country would be flushing in unison to commemorate my passing. He’s a real funny guy isn't he.
About 5 years ago, I decided that I wanted a Vikings funeral. In fact I told my husband he had better be brushing up on his archery skills since a good aim was paramount to the success of this particular send off. He just looked at me. I’m beginning to think he does not take me seriously.
Funny thing is, last year at my grandfathers’ funeral, my great uncle was telling us how he had traced our family tree all the way back to Europe. He then informed me our direct descendants were Vikings. Ray said that explained a lot…………Poor guy didn’t stand a chance did he?
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